3 Days on

Hello from the forest.

The team are currently still in bed after a brutal 3 days of slab shutdowns and power failures on numerous font classics.

Seeing as we need a rest day I'll do a quick recap of whats been going on...

Mon 13th

We got to Maisonbleau around 10.30am feeling a bit white after no sleep since 7am on Sunday morning and immediately went and crashed out, managing about 3 hours sleep before the psyche to climb got too high.

Buthiers was the venue of choice being just down the road and we warmed up over at Tennis area. I quickly sandbagged Sean and Mike by doing a lap of Marmelade (a terriblly sandy piece of choss) and laughed as they flailed. I went back on to try get it on film and got shutdown too! haha.

Myself and Sean were really keen for Nemesis as it looked piss on bleau.info so we padded it out and then received a lesson for about 30 minutes until we had to wave the white flag ashamed of our efforts (we felt too short and are both 6"2!).

We headed over to the Piscince area and got on with some classic easier lines from the essentials guide and then padded out Lady Big Claques. The flash was going well until a violent grease off and me and Mike got no higher than on our first goes! Ben Farley is a wad.

Deciding we were just too strong for this shit we bailed over to the grotty roof of Magic Bus and I managed to almost get the flash only to scrape a pad hitting the break. It was in the bag 2nd try and I willed on Sean, Mike and Mark to get another ascent but sadly it was almost pitch black and we were all fatigued.

Tues 14th

Rejuvinated from a good nights sleep, we headed to Petit Bois and wandered around trying to find some non green warmups. They were to be found just uphill from La Baleine and were all really good mantle topouts that left your elbows begging for mercy!

We retreated down the hill and got Big Jim padded out. I filmed as the others all got to the last move but didn't commit to the slap. I got bored of heckling, so booted up and got the retro flash, then another lap to get it on film.

They declared it tweaky... and I quote from Sean Hoppo "I didn't come to climb this pex hill shit!".

We went over to La Baleine and everyone agreed it was a stunning line. After dropping the rail on go number 1, Sean suggested a higher right foot and hey presto, next go it was done, for what I think is one of my top 5 problems in font.

Mike psyche came the closest to another ascent but it didn't quite happen.

We then hit Elephant as it stays light a little later than most venues.

We all did Lepreaux and le Voie Michaud and I managed Lepreaux Direct after realising the big sidepull wasn't in.

I recalled Barre Fixe looking nice and steep as well as soft for 7b+, so ran over there and got a bit of a left hand tweak form trying to crank on a mono. I changed sequence and got to the slap to the jug and found this hard, so had to refine once more. It went down 3rd go using some twisty moves and a bit of a girly scream to the jug.

With the moon fully out, me and Mark found Le Coeur and I booted up in the dark. I pulled on and crossed over to get the heart, matched it and scrambled my feet up on to smears to stab into the hanging seam. I campussed over with my left and then mauled the top not being able to see any footholds! A victory flash for blind thuggery.

Wed 15th

Feeling a bit wrecked from the first 2 days, we had a slower start, mincing around carrefour and buying some fly team shoes in Decathlon. New Feel shoes could be the greatest bargain of all time for a mere 9 euros per pair! I'll get a photo uploaded in due course. T Mills would approve.

We warmed up at Cuvier and then watched in disbelief as Mike almost flashed Marie Rose only to punter the 2nd to last move. He then watched me cruise up it in fine style and dispatched it with ease. Sean followed and Mark was havingtrouble with his dodgy fingers on the left crimp/pinch high up, so opted to leave it for now.

We headed over to do Red 35 and thought it would be in the off piste 6a and above guide but turns out it is 5+ even though it took 100% effort to get up.

I decided to find a 7a that the team could ascend and goaded them round the corner into trying Pif Paf, a fun looking double dyno to two slopers and an easy top out.

Lady luck was on our side and after myself and sean scrambled up it, Mike psyche (the most undynamic man in climbing) levitated serenely up to the slopers and cruised the top. It was left for Mark to complete the team ascent and after a couple of hairy moments, he was stood atop but paying the price with a couple of bloody tips :()

It was a bit warm at Cuvier so we headed down the path to Bleau's Art to find it in the shade and in prime condition. I patted chalk on to the wonderful curving grips and then booted, chalked and flashed it to my amazement.

Mike then got his crush on and walked up it on about his 3rd try. The others were resting and saving skin, so we headed up to have a look at the Big 4. I put pads underneath Watchtower and chalked up but upon feeling the right hand pull on hold, I decided a split tip was not ideal on day 3 of 12, so shifted over to have a quick go on Fourmis Rouges to see if it was realistic.

It felt a bit weird and off balance on the first 2 goes, but on go number 3 I managed to get up the crackline and jump out to the top left pinch. I started to get my right foot on the smear to rock in to the top but both hands pinged off with grease and a lack of energy. I only had another go and was powering out matching before the jump to the pinch, so we called it a day and went home for beer and an excellent chilli.

Apologies for the lack of pictures as we have no cable to get them off the camera and on to the laptop. There is a fair bit of footage so far, so hopefully we can climb something of note and make it an entertaining watch!