A day out with the Captains of Crush and some cave action

I managed to get some cover in work over the last 2 days to avoid mind numbing cabin fever and to try putting to use my recently aquired 'font skills'.

Sun 4th April

Strong Davey P arrived at the Ivory Towers around 10ish and we headed East through rain, sun and more showery rain but once at Hathersage it was looking promising.

We had a chill looking around the Outside Sale rails picking up a bargain Prana hoody and then set off to Burbage to hook up with Ed Robinson and their mutual friend John.

Me and Dave were a tad early and it was pretty wild up at the carpark with a lot of ominous cloud closing in around us but a promising wind drying things off. We decided to go warm up around the banana finger area only to be driven back about 100 metres down the path by gale force wind and horizontal rain daggers! We fought our way back to the car using the base pads as face protection and getting totally soaked from the waist down.

We started to drive off to go get a coffee in Hathersage only for the sun to break through and the sky turn blue all in a matter of 2 minutes. How surreal! Ed rang and we turned back to wait for them at the carpark.

Once John had arrived, we all decided to go Burbage West as it was out of the worst of it. We met some hero/madman who was attempting to ground up West Side using a small rucksack from the 80's, a bit of carpet and his pet hound to spot/run for help.

We tried not to watch and got on with the thorough warmup. I got psyched for The Nose, so Ed did a demo and it received the heavy beta flash. Strong Dave looked a bit sketchy but also claimed some kind of amnesia retro flash ascent as he may have done it before. I guess it gets harder to remember as the years go by! ;)

We moved over to West Side Story and made little headway until Ed had a breakthrough moment showing some sequence involving feet across to the right and gastons to get into the 2nd RH sidepull and the LH crimp. I managed it this way once but decided to stick to plan A which found me up at the same point and then catching the 3rd RH sidepull. I barndoored a bit but the LH stayed on the crimp. I tried picking the LF up to the obvious nubbin to dyno off and then everything pinged off.

A few more goes and everyone was a little concerned about taking off the left index finger tip, so we moved across to Breakfast.

Ed provided another demo and I sketched my way up another flash involving a nice grease off slap again move near the top. Dave had an epic and eventually got it done and John also fell off leaving his footlock in which could have been truly horrific but thankfully didn't cause any further drama.

We had a play on Famous Grouse but found it a wee bit greasy, Ed managed to shin himself and we went to Burbage Bridge.

We had a play on Rocket Man, shaving more and more skin off the Right hand until my current hero strong Dave P, put on his jetpack, polished his boots and floated serenely to the top, he even contemplated a 1 armer... than woke up and topped it out ;)

I struggled on Mermaid greasing down that RH plate hold. Dave did it first go with a double or triple (I lost count!) french blow. Dismayed, I turned to the liquid chalk and thankfully it held back the tide of grease just enough to get it done.

Ed had to rush off to a party with a nice fingertape bandage covering up a big palm flapper, so the rest of us went over to Banana Finger. Me and John got up the original first try, then I lanked up the direct and finished off with the Arete on the left which was lovely.

We finished off with a pint on the Little John and got back to Merseyside barely awake and aching all over.

Mon 5th April

I woke up feeling totally ruined and thankfully Mark and Chris agreed to a late start to go the cave instead of grit as my skin was still pulsating with blood at the surface!

We stopped off in Costa and got some revival juice which left me a bit too wired in the cave shaking like mad trying to warm up and struggling to apply liquid chalk at the start of In Hell.

To sum it up, I got a bit further every redpoint with the best attempt of the day being crossing over to the pinch before the finish slot with no energy and burning hands on the brink of blood letting. I also had a play on Clyde and managed to stick the cross under move for the first time (twice!), one go managing to switch the right hand back around to set up to throw out right into Trigger Cut holds only to be greasing out the big slot, raking more skin off.

Mark had a great session, bagging Parisella's Original and Lipstick righthand and Chris looked to be making headway on Left Wall traverse.

Other events of note were Mina making Broken Heart look like a path and Kook getting very close on The Wire, shut down only by the wet fingerjug grease off.

Sadly the week ahead is work everyday, as I was itching to get back on In Hell after a couple rest days to destroy. Sunday heralds a return trip to font, so I'll try to keep the chin up! ;)

Dans le Foret pt 1

Well it was a lovely trip out in font with Mark and little Hoppo. Out of the 9 days we had out there, we climbed on 8 of them! Not a bad attempt considering the state of affairs as we left font on a very grey and showery Sunday afternoon, waving adieu to the recent arrivals.

I guess it's easiest for me to do a quick day by day summary with a pic or two for each day. The trip wasn't a crushing spree... more of a chilled return, getting used to climbing again after being either injured, having split tips or working too much the previous 3 weeks to have any kind of form going into it.

It was really enjoyable repeating some old classics and getting plenty of mileage in whilst showing the other 2 around some of my favourite venues as well as checking out new ones at the same time. It was pretty quiet wherever we went and mainly easy going foreigners to chat too (until the last couple of days when we met a couple of stereotypical bell ends from the uk - I must add they were not all bad, a couple of the Scottish guys we met at Gorge were very friendly!).

Sat 20th March

After arriving bleary eyed from a long drive down, we grabbed a couple hours sleep at the campsite and had a slow start to the day nipping to Carrefour to buy some supplies before heading over to Bas Cuvier to check out some problems seeing as it was raining. It cleared up a little bit, so we headed over to Rempart and ticked off the first 5+ in the forest l'Angle Allain, a great little technical arete that was good on both sides. We went back down and I did a lap of Duroxmanie which is absolutely superb. Mark should have done it but bailed near the top and Hoppo had a kick off after getting the shut down! ;)

The last problem we got on was La Mummery just over the way. I sketched up it before the camera could be set up and then Michael nearly did it before falling from the 2nd to last move getting his hand sequence a bit muddled. The rain then came down a bit more forceably and we went back home for the standard pasta, veg, chorizo and chopped chilli tea washed down with cheap beers! (30 for £9 euro)

Sun 21st

Apremont was the venue of choice and after the standard warmup on some classics blues we headed over to find Ju Jitsu wet which was a shame, Not to be deterred we turned around and ticked off lamentations before going around the back of the gigantic Ju Jitsu boulder to try jeremiades. I didn't realise it got a grade from standing and assumed it was a 6c from the left sitter, I overpowered it on my 2nd attempt cutting loose a couple of times and basically campussed/crawled up to lie out of breath on the top. I declared it to be a bit stiff at 6c and was relieved to find it got 7a+ from a sit when we consulted the book!

Next up was a visit to Hyperplomb which was fantastic but a bit puzzling on top. After falling off trying about 4 or 5 sequences I went around the corner and decided to give medaille en chocolat a quick go and managed to stick the top on the 2nd attempt, it's a really nice mix of delicacy followed by an unlikely catch as you fly up and out. A bit re-psyched, I returned to my original sequence on Hyperplomb and just managed to get the right foot up and in enough to stand on the obvious hold at groin height. A bit of slapping and it was in the bag.

We all ticked off the great La Lune and got a lap in on Science Friction before getting shut down on both Fil a Tordre and Onde de Choc. I got right up on top of Onde with the RH on the sloper but my left hand kept peeling off the thin sidepull in the sun. Most frustrating!

Mon 22nd

I was hoping to rest on the Monday but soon got keen to try and do an easy circuit at 91.1 as the others wanted to go there. We rocked up and the classics from 5+ to 6b were really enjoyable. We finished ticking the font essentials guide for the area and had a great baguette with several fillings.

We stopped off at Roche Aux Sabots on the way back and the others got stuck in to some problems as I decided to rest. I tired of this after about 15 minutes and went over to have a little look at Sally Goose. Psyched.

After faffing on the first move a couple of times I remembered what to do and found myself slapping at the top of the block. No matter which left shoe I tried, pushing off that left foot mono felt precarious and shit! I shinned myself from a foot pop twice in a row and gave up shortly after wondering if I'll ever make this move. (upon getting home and checking on bleau, I realised I kept my RF too low and should have bounced it up a hold to get more push and keep in contact when hitting the top!)

I went over and met the others at Le Tiroir and got a flash of Oblique, a burly start into a fun dyno to a tricky top out. They got shut down hard on Le Tiroir (a 6a featuring a crank and slap off an undercut mono!)

Last up was a trip to try red 25 the infamous l'Angle a Jean Luc. This time I was armed with some nice new Moccasyms which probably gave me a 0.01% improved chance over my old jet 7's. About 1 hour of solid effort and I somehow surmounted this nemesis utilising a shoulder wrecking palm edge mantle and a desperate deadpoint to a crimp below the top. This lowly 6c boulder was easily the hardest problem I did on the trip and took more attempts than nearly every other 7a-7c combined!


Tues 23rd

After the non restday rest, an aching team headed to Hautes Plaines. Mark destroyed Coquille on the flash which was most impressive after my epic on it a couple of years ago. I managed the low right sit link which was very fine indeed. Hoppo had another minor kick off... and we all ticked off lapin ou canard, a really fun roof up the hill a bit.


At Isatis main, there were masses of people from all corners of Europe but we reserved a ticket for le statique and the other 2 got it done whilst I took some snaps in between flashing Vin Rouge, an excellent dyno with a wild swing.

I got shutdown hard on rataplat, a 7b pillar that probably feels easier when not in direct sun and Mark did the classic double dyno thing that some fella climbs feet first on bleau.

We bailed to a quiet scene higher up and after a few goes and 1 split tip later, I managed to get l'Angle Ben's ticked. I had wanted to do this ever since I first visisted font in 07 and was psyched to get something done that is not exactly Parisella's style!

Plastikman was next up after a bit of a hike and also went down ok after a false start pullon. Mark looked good on it but gave up a bit early to save skin for the next day. We walked back towards the carpark and couldn't resist a quick go on el Poussif. I managed to get up on the pinch mantling the left arm and getting the right knee/shin on before twisting off and stacking it on to the sea of mats. The red flag was waved and we sacked it back to the car (with a brief 3 tries on Sur-Prises which was still greasy even in the dark!)

Wed 24th

I was really determined to rest today, so we headed to Cuvier and I brought along only 2 pairs of boots instead of 5. It was a busy scene with the first student arrivals and some local wads with their short shorts, pof rag and no pads ambling up some sketchy looking slabs.

After heckling little Hopski as he warmed up and got shutdown on Nescafe, we moved the pads under Marie Rose and watched him crush it first go, to the dismay of the several students who had just recieved a spanking! Good effort yoof'.

As the sky cleared and it got busier, we ran away to Rempart. I got bored of resting and warmed up on some 6b before getting Festin de Pierre 2nd go after an embarassing pullon and instant foot pop! I had to call in a bit of the overpower on the latter moves due to forgetting my glasses and being unable to spot any footholds!

The others ticked off some black problems while I chilled and we headed back to Cuvier as it began to go dark. Hoppo and Mark got close on Cortomaltese and Charcuterie respectively and I had a hard time trying to get the right heel to stick on Berezina. I reverted to the pull on and jump over the top method but found it impossible to stick the sloper. Lastly I tried a toe hook and instantly got across on to the sloper but then the toe ripped before an attempt to take it off in control could be made.

With desperation for a new tick, we ran over to the Biceps Mou roof. I tried this once and realised my left arm is still too weak to be of much use. Attention switched to Holey Moley and while the others started to fear boars and whores, I hauled my weak arse up it after receiving decent beta from a passing Swede, which felt more like the 7a it should be as opposed to my desperate 7b/+ method.

Thu 25th

It was the first day of really shit weather so we basked in the luxury of a lie in and didn't leave the campsite till about 2pm, bringing back wonderful memories of the wonderfully relaxed Magic Wood starts of last summer.

We decided to go check out the Cul de Chien hoping it would be fast to dry. A brief warmup was had on the head of the dog along with some blatant product placement photographs for mr Craven and we found our way to the roof. There was a group of unsociable Poles on it who weren't too keen on company so we played on the things to the right to get some blood in the fingers and waited patiently. About 30 seconds after they left, the sky opened and instantly soaked the top out. 2 minutes later and there was a stream of water coming over the lip as well as a storm blowing up sand into our eyes as we cowered underneath the roof!

Day over.

Fri 26th

More wet weather greeted us, so we went to Carrefour and had a leisurely start, buying some nice trousers in the decathlon sale rail and playing with all the apparatus whilst trying to avoid irking the staff.

It looked a bit better on the way out the supermarket, so we went to Gorge aux chats finding it fairly busy already.

We ticked off some excellent red problems from the essentials book like Sirocco, Gigi, dallain and maudite arete. I got a quick flash of Sa Pelle au Logis in before it pissed down for 20 minutes. We noticed the Rubis area was relatively unscathed by the rain, so rewarmed up on Travaux Forces and the others went off to find arachnee while I joined the 2 Scottish based Dave's on Rubis. After a fairly decent flash attempt, I found myself sat on my right foot trying to cross to the big pinch only to ping off violently. I stemmed the blood from the back of my right knuckles and then fell again at the same point, always leaning out too much. On the 4th go i decided to put the camera on and this extra motivation found me back up there feeling a lot more steady, I sat on my foot a bit closer in and stuck the pinch. Glory!

It rained again so we sat under Maudite arete and noticed it stayed dry. I decided to try the sitter (aka Tour d'Ivoire) and flashed it into the standup, cursed myself that I had wasted the flash as the top was soaked... then was relieved to be told by a French guy hiding under the adjacent roof that it began with the right hand lower as the FAist was not Crouch-like in proportions!

I got the move first try and then the heel popped a few moves later trying to slide the RH up to the good break. The rock dried up fairly fast, so I took a break and then had an all or nothing redpoint, getting into the standup before dismayingly powering out to the point where hanging on to two jugs was the living end! Hoppo heckled a bit and I nearly cried.

Sat 27th

The weather was a sack of shit. We walked around Elephant and then to the Dame Jouanne car park. It got worse so we decided to go to Bloc Age, the indoor wall near to Milly. As we sat outside it began to clear and I begged we go back to Gorge aux Chats which was about 5 mins away. Thankfully the others agreed and after a brief warmup I got back on Tour d'Ivoire and destroyed it first try of the day totally flash pumped! (when I say destroyed, I mean cut loose twice, whimpered and blew wind out my arse whilst barely avoiding dabbing the rock and pads by a matter of centimetres and snatched my way up jugs to victory!).

It was possibly my first 7C in font, so a nice one to get done too, being good moves and aesthetic - just a shame about the encroaching block and the finger numbing undercut crimp you crank on in the roof.

We did various controversial versions of Greve des Nains and moved to 95.2.

We met some hostile Scots who blanked us save for 1 at Retour aux Sources so kept walking to Duel Dans la Lune block.

A brief play on Rudeboy and I thought the last move was ok going LH up. From the start it proved a different matter as I dropped this last move about 5 times crying in desperation as to how it could possibly merit a mere 7a! I then did the move going right hand up as a rockover slap and after a bit more puntering finally latched it as two of the aforementioned scots turned up to geg in.

Duel dans la lune went down ok and we left them to it, moving on to Retour. I watched little Hoppo have a go and then attempted the retro flash using about 100 intermediate holds and fell to the floor in a right state, realising this was not the way I tried it last time!

Mark showed the way with a more direct method and I soon topped it out... what a great set of moves.

Little Mike got so so close but couldn't quite get his left foot up on to the big crimp to stand to the top. We went on a mission, found Ange Naif and it started to spit, then rain... then piss down. Day ender.


Sun 27th

It rained heavily, so we sacked it back to Liverpool.

It was a fun trip with plenty of good easy classics ticked as well as something I really wanted to do in Rubis and a surprise 7c that wasn't even on the shortlist of things to try.

The other guys had a good time getting to visit a new area nearly every day and also getting their first 7a's in the forest.

There is a fair bit of footage, so either myself or Mark will have to convert these annoying .TOD files into something useful that can be edited and made into a short flick on vimeo!

It was nice to get back to font and climb on amazing rock, just a shame that it took about 6 days to feel like I could climb again after having less than ideal preparation in the run up.

Font training

After growing back the skin on my palm and overcoming a nagging left arm injury over the last 2 weeks, I was fully fearing a lack of time on rock pre font may lead to climbing like a Mills on ice.

Luckily for me, the strongest man in Merseyside was keen to hit the grit and with his generous van space, we could load in pads until we got bored!

Tuesday 9th March

After a brief word with the Honeymonster, we headed to Stanage and warmed up on the excellent hourglass block where I schooled him on a slab to take round 1 ;)

Over to Brad and luckily there was a bit of a breeze coming through on the right which kept things cool enough to not feel like we were squeezing blocks of butter. We both had a few goes limbering up the left leg a bit until the heel placement was easy. Dave made fast progress in catching the left hand over but struggled to get the heel to stay in place when trying to crank over it and balance.

I made no headway whatsoever trying to go left hand over and felt really bunched/off balance with this method.

40 mins later and Dave was consistently pissing the first 2 moves but getting no further with a bit of an ache in his right shoulder before the fatigue set in. I decided to change approach and managed to go right hand up really easily and hold this position a couple of times but struggled to match as I didn't leave much space for my left hand and my skin was getting a bit too thin...

Honeymonster showed up and pissed the first 2 moves just failing to match the ramp! Then it was downhill progress, so we went round the corner to try The Storm.

It felt like the living end to me as I kept wetting up the holds, so wrote off the day and let them get on with it. Steve got really close a couple of times but Dave suffered the butter skin too.

We moved once more uphill to find Help The Aged guarded by a snow trench, rigged up some interesting pad arrangement and then proceeded to punter until I realised it was easier to hang it and just campus as opposed to using a left toe on anything. Before I could get it in the bag my skin went even worse and I gave up after sledging downhill on the pad for a few metres taking out a few bags and downjackets en route!

It was time for Merseyside's strongest to put me back in my place and he monstered it. Honeymonster then caught the hold but decided to step on to the cornice behind and invalidate it, grasping defeat from the jaws of victory.

Wednesday 10th March

The weather was looking a bit iffy as we drove out of the grimy town of Huddersfield but as we turned towards Otley there were blue skies and sunshine was breaking through the clouds!

The warmup was good fun messing about on the slabs downhill from the Great Flake and I was chuffed to show Merseyside's strongest how to slab climb by doing the full traverse L->R (All this cave training and I still seem to be better on slabs than anything overhanging!).

We did the fantastic chickenhead problems and the scary wall to the left above the shit landing. I didn't fancy standing on tiny pebbles in my Mocc's so dynoed up to the fingerjam with Dave looking on in horror. He then repeated in fine style by actually using his feet!

Up the hill and into the shade, the rock felt so much better than my last trip up here with Matty D. We fully patiod the area with about 8 mats and Ben's Groove became a safe prospect.

A couple of warmup goes on the first move and I managed to hold the crossover, get the pocket out right, left foot up and then rocked into the high sidepull but my foot was too low and I slid down the vertical sidepull to the deck. Next go and I brought my left hand over to match near the pocket, got the left foot higher and this time had the height to utilise the sidepull. I fearfully sketched my way up to the top. What an amazing problem.

I mocked Dave's lucky Dragon charm off Steve... 'Rich 1, lucky dragon nil', then he fully crushed it next go to retain his crown. Steve kept pissing the first moves but didn't seem to fancy the top bit so we moved right to Secret Seventh.

The holds felt sharp on my super thin skin and we were not making much progress till suddenly I found the right body position, went static with the right hand to the pinch and then dragged my right toe across the wall to slow everything down, floated up the left toe on to the obvious nubbin and started rocking up. I was about to release the left hand off the grim slopey crimp when it decided to remove itself and I hit the mats hard with a numb left hand and lots of blood! I had torn the whole left little pinkie pad off and it was flowing.

It took a while to stem the flow then tape it up tightly. We were all suffering a bit from bad skin so moved over to Ju Ju Club. Dave and Steve managed to remember the top out and I got this ok on the 2nd attempt from matched on the good holds. It took a few minutes of us swinging out on to the pads before I found the sweet spot for the right foot to clamp under the roof and I could get out matched with ease. One casual attempt saw me lose all body tension and fail on the move up to the first sloper. I retaped the finger properly and then got it done with a bit of a scream on the final slap to make sure! Another class problem.

We decided to bail with aching arms and poor skin all round and had a brief chat to Dobbin as he warmed up near Fork Lightning Crack. He said he was on his way up to try link Zoo York, we wished him luck and then Crawled back to Merseyside in a long queue of traffic!

It was quite good to get out two days in a row on the grit and to climb 2 great problems. It almost felt like I was getting used to climbing on this devil's rock and could do with another session next week to get the skin roughed up and ready for font on the 20th!

A brief return to Yorkshire

Thoroughly psyched from Saturday's lovely day out, we headed East once again to sample the delights of ice cold grit.

Caley
It looked well dark from the road but on my insistence, we headed up the hill to find Blockbuster pretty primo save for the topout slab foothold which was easily towelled.

A variety of interesting eliminates on the roof just below the block were contrived and we decided to finish the warmup on Blockbuster itself.

Things started badly with a lot of failure to grasp holds and then finding it desperate to move with the left foot up. We slowly got into it and before long both had a preferred sequence, me jumping off the grim pocket fingerlock to the crimp and Dave utilising the pinches (both to jump off for left hand and catch with right hand.

I thought I may get away with carrying an injury on my left arm (had to stop after a 20 min session warming up indoors on Monday yet again with massive pains down my arm), but after 1 decent go of catching the crimp, foot on, left hand into sidepull crimp and the mother of all power screams... I dropped the high flakeline and with the failure came a lot of pain in the left arm compounded by blood letting through the back of the fingers!

Emery had turned up in the meantime and found my failures hilarious. Fortunately he didn't nip in for a quick lap to make it a truly awful experience ;) Dave P, merseyside's current strongest man of the moment basically made it look like a path several minutes later. It was indeed a great effort.

Almscliff
We stopped off for some pies at the farmshop and headed up t'Cliff to meet Steve again as he warmed up on the Keel. I went over to Patta's arete dosed up on Ibuprofen for something more crimpy and less army. My total butter skin made it impossible to make any progress, as I continually greased on the holds in minus 2 winds?! Attention switched to the dyno thing to the right which went down once I got rid of my flat shoes and smeared with the Teams which worked right away, strange.

Back over to the Keel area and I noticed the fairly good looking line that took the Cherry Falls crimp with the left and bust out to the sidepull before going for the top break. Go 1 ended in going for the wrong part of the sidepull too low down. Go 2 was a stretched out slap at the top break and thankfully go 3 was a casual lap to the top just in time before my left index tore in half!

I Stopped while ahead as the arm started to feel a bit achey again and watched Steve try the Real Keel. Got a couple snaps and then went up top to spot Dave on Stu's left only to come into some fierce ice winds of death. Bail was the first thought that sprung to mind... but undetered I sprinted over and gave Dave the beast the tiny bit of encouragement he needed. He sketched his way to the top looking slightly less steady than on Blockbuster (no photos as the spot was preferred!) Great to see another 7b+ crushfest during the week.

Another pint in the Hunters was most welcome, with the open fire bringing us back to life and able to feel various limbs again.

Going to have to take 4-5 days off and really let this left arm recover as I don't fancy turning it into a long term niggle where I'd be holding back in font or having to do slabs for 8 days till my toes bled.

Glorified uphill walking

Is how I have often thought of gritstone climbing. My opinion has changed a bit this weekend as I spent a thoroughly enjoyable day out in Yorkshire with Dave P and Steve Honeyman.

Ilkley

We met up at the back of the calf and had a good warmup on the woody style warmup problems. I got spanked on most of these so decided to head round the corner for my goal of the day, Ringpiece.

It was steep, had big holds and looked both reachy and burly, perfect! Thoughts of an easy flash were going through my mind so I made sure every hold was chalked and the ring was dry! A chalk up and a stretch then into action as I got the fat pinch, wedged a toe in and came into the undercut, feet planted and lunge to glory... only to fail and hit the mat. Should have tried a bit harder!

A couple more tries and it went down without a hitch getting stood up above on to a snow covered block. I decided retreat was the best option and reversed to the lip.

Dave crushed it in a similar fashion soon after and Steve got close before making the decision to get on the main goal.

We popped over to Curious Yellow wall and it looked pretty luminous on top. I decided to warm up for Curious by crushing the simple looking arete to the left only to receive the hard shutdown for the next hour or more! It felt a bit glassy on the holds but was probably just our general punterdom at play.

I had a handful of goes on Curious getting stood up on the thin RH undercut and trying to find the correct place to wrap the left toe in order to come over to the small LH intermediate crimp (before you lunge to the pocket/edge). Got close on 1 try on this move but no cigar. Steve got to a similar position a few times which was quite impressive as I reckon it is way harder to get standing up without the long reach and having a bent arm to pull in on. One to go back to for sure.

T' Cliff

With the light starting to fade we sped over to the cliff and climbed the fantastic Matterhorn arete that i had shamefully never done! I then almost had an epic on the 5C problem to the left of this which felt fully hard.

Dave suggested a quick look at Matt's roof and with our literal sea of pads (about 8 between 3 of us) We just about made it appealing. It looked pretty amazing and something I could do. So we booted up and I watched Dave have a go like the beta whore I am.

First go was a near miss of catching the hold. 2nd go was going past it and 3rd go, it was in the bag. A truly lovely basic board problem.

A final dash as the stars came out over to the Demon Wall Roof area.... Dave crushed Stu's Roof LH all the way to being stood up above the lip and then fell off due to a total lack of light making it a case of braille climbing!

An athletes diet of a pint in the Hunter's bar was followed by a kebab and some more pints in the metropolitan town of Huddersfield.

Sunday morning

We opened the curtains at Steve's and it had totally fucked it down with snow! Donnelly rang to say he had bailed the cave with the Mills. We had a lazy morning of coffee and watched some psyche which made me long for dry stable weather that seems widespread in a lot of the US!

We attempted to leave around 2ish and Dave's van required a jumpstart to let us limp back to Merseyside, tired but keen for the return leg on Tuesday (weather permitting).

Stepping it up

In the slow build up to another font trip, I have been keen to get out to new venues to try and diversify my climbing from doing redpoints on In Hell.

Sunday 14th

Went over to the Wirral and met Andy and Becki at Green Lane (aka Hell), and we shot off towards what looked the best option in a sunny Llanberis pass. The sky was bright blue and the sun was wonderful. As we neared the A55 exit, it had already clouded over and the rain was getting steadier.

We got to Llanberis and it was grimness. A quick brew in Petes and we headed into the pass to check things out. There was a team huddled under Jerrys Roof and nobody else at Roadside. The rain was only light, so we got a bit of a warmup on the roadside face with only myself enjoying the wet topout practice that required a cool head.

Rather than ring Doyle and beg for entry to the Mill, we decided to go check out Elephantitus Cave. It was a bit brighter over the other side of Pen Y pass and by the time we had walked in to the cave it had stopped raining and brightened up a little.

A bit of brushing and hold fondling and I was pretty psyched. The first moves on Elephantitus were a joy rolling into big pinches and then the slightly unnerving throw to the sloper off the matching crimps. Luckily my hand stuck and the heel-toe stayed in, matching was ok and I just about caught the break above to get the flash in the bag.

Andy had a good go at the flash but didn't enjoy the crimps too much as he had ben out at Wimberry with Fatneck on Saturday and had no tips! Becki did most of the moves but struggled on the reach out left as well as the slap to the sloper. It was good to see her actually climbing and looking vaguely psyched for a change!

Next up was Going down on an Elephant which looked nice and basic. I thought I could get the flash in the bag, so didn't really worry too much about the sequence. I pulled on and crossed over to the flatty edge, got the lock on and matched the right foot into the starting hold whilst flagging past with the left. Looking up and left I realised I was miles away from the pinch/sidepull on Elephantitus and was stuck under my right arm! I held the lock for what seemed an eternity and finally tried to jump sideways only to land flat on my side! Fail.

Slightly bemused, it was time to look properly. Becki pointed out the obvious ticked intermediate 2 finger crimp and this proved to be the key. Next go and I was across up into the slap to the sloper only to change my Elephantitus beta and use the low pinch to go for the sloper instead of the crimps I had used 5 minutes ago. This ended in a horizontal deck out banging my right heel hard on a rock and getting a bruised arse! I fueled up on some banana and got it done next go without any problems.

I started to look at Tusk and then the heavens opened causing all of the lip to rapidly turn into a small waterfall as the rain came down the slab above. We bailed to V12 for a coffee and then on to a nice pub on Ollies recommendation (just at the turnoff towards the Beacon). Going against my performance related alcohol plan for 2010 I treated myself to a pint (the usual requirement being a new 7C). I thought I could earn it on Tuesday instead!

Tuesday 16th

After resetting and testing the step wall at work, I was a bit knackered 3rd day on. The weather dictated the cave as the only option and I wasn't my usual psyched self. As we got nearer to the Orme, the Sky was blue and the sun shone down. It was glorious!

The warm up felt ok as it was nowhere near as bitter as it had been over Christmas and January. We met Dave Pinnington and Andy Farnell in there and everyone seemed keen to crush something. I couldn't face redpointing In Hell in a fatigued state so chose to try something new which would allow more excuse for failure and keep it fun. Dave was workiing Broken Heart, so I joined him and Pete Chadwick on this. It took a couple of tries of the heel-toe to make it work and when it finally did I managed to fluke my way through to the rail and across into Clever Beaver only to fall off coming into the undercut after catching the sloper. Total power out but quite pleased at getting that far.

A bit of a rest and another go. I got to the break and for some reason decided to go for the shorter link into Beaver Cleaver forgetting that it is pretty desperate and failed to even catch the initial throw for the lip!

Pretty knackered by now, I thought it would be good to try and punish the body, so got the mats under In Hell and started to warm up again as it had gone freezing and the fingers and toes were suffering. A couple of false starts remembering body positions and I got across part 1 into RA flake, across the pockets and stepped off feeling boxed, with numb fingers.

Rather than be dismayed at failing, I decided to try repeat Trigger Cut. The first moves were still ok thankfully but I failed to feel good on the slap to the shothole once again! It's a bit of a puzzle really as it felt ok last year when I got it done but have never been able to hold since. It must be a subtle body position that I have not yet remembered and needs addressing if I am to try and get Halfway House done. Speaking of which...

I decided to try and link in having only done it once in the past by fluke. Rather than just press the left toe in and bring the right foot around straight into the heel, I managed to climb off the Lou F ramp into the TC start holds, keep the left foot on the Lou F ramp and bring the right foot out and toe hook the Greenheart undercut. Releasing the left foot and pulling in felt ok and I got the left foot up onto the start foothold of TC. The right heel went up and the left foot flagged. The Trigger in my hand... then nothing left in the tank!

It was a great way to end the session climbing as far as I had before into TC from both hands on the Louey ramp in a state of knackeredness. I don't think it will be an issue to get into the slap for the shothole move from the start after a good rest day but that move is going to need sorting out soon (without resorting to kneebars!) before I can consider it as being a realistic goal.

I think I am addicted to the cave and can only hope it translates a bit to font for things like Eclipse, Biceps Mou, Aerodynamite..etc

Back once again

To the Barrow of Trow with Strong Smiley Dave, he of the silver mane.

As we headed up the M6 in glorious sunshine and clear skies... our concerns briefly grew when we started to get a bit of light rain outside Lancaster. Luckily there was no need to worry as temps were good and more importantly the Shelterstone was bone!

A quick warmup showing Dave all the classics on Red Wall went smoothly but for some reason he wasn't that inspired and wanted to make haste to some large boulder we passed on the way in.

I recognised it almost instantly and threw the regulation laps of Funk phenomena, Vitruvian (getting a massive random palm flapper in the process on my LH!?) and Pit Problem. Dave crushed; getting the funk, burling the pit problem and then finally grasping defeat from the jaws of victory by dropping the TOP of Vitruvian man (the big jug!). I was impressed by his ability to get things done fast (something the Crouch is unfamiliar with... as I prefer to piss the moves in overlapping halves then fail to link things for months).

I had one go of Iron Man and got into the stand holds from the shitter, only to find I was buttering that pinch all over in spite of it being Zero degrees C! I decided to sack and focus, went round back and after 2 near misses, brawled my way up Texas Hold Em for a very satisfying nemesis problem tick! (The list has now shortened to T Crack, Handy Andys and Wavelength!)

Flush with success I tackled the 6C/V5 groove which has always felt the living end. I recalled a vision me and the Donnelly had at the end of last session and with fresher arms it went down after a couple of false slaps at the top. This left a nice link to tidy things up and it went down without a hitch from the Iron Man sitter.

The warm down involved doing the wheelbarrow moves into the groove but my bad skin shut down the redpoint, greasing off the pit problem setup into the slap up.